I have been redecorating. Did you notice?? Huh .... did ya??
A huge thank you to Wilma for creating the header and for helping me with the new background etc. Actually, help is a big understatement! Did I mention she also has the patience of a saint. Dealing with copious emails and questions from me.
Thank you Willie!! I truly appreciate you giving you time to my little 'project' :)
Speaking of Scrappy ... Scrappy had been keeping a low profile ... until recently that is! (S)he has slowly but surely been making a reappearance recently. Rick has certainly noticed this too and has commented on it. In fact, just this evening he said something along the lines of "hmm, you really are getting Scrappy again aren't you".
I feel as though things with us have, well, stagnated. I mean, we're not in a bad place, but we don't seem to be moving forward. We are, dare I say it, 'comfortable' - eek! We are still dealing with issues life is throwing at us right now and it has made it difficult to take time out to just focus on us.
With following of rules being 'optional' (shall we say) and no role affirmation (or any other spanking for that matter) I feel as though I am starting to take some control back and retreating to miss independent mode. Of course, being able to make my own decisions and not being held accountable isn't helping.
As I mentioned previously a lot of the basic structure of our dynamic remains in place. However not being held accountable when I fail in those expectations is hard. I am trying to maintain my submissiveness and continue to behave in the same way as before our break. However recently I have been slipping and as much as I am trying to keep to our established rules, I am starting to let them slip.
Now why is that? Why do I need his dominance and to be held accountable to maintain my submissiveness? Surely I should have this. I should be able to maintain my submissiveness without these things. I mean, I desire this lifestyle, I desire to submit so why then is this happening? Perhaps, as much as I hate to say it, this exactly why role affirmation works for us - dang it all!
Although it feels as though we are treading water right now trust and confidence are returning and I wonder whether things will just naturally slowly return to 'normal'. Perhaps without us even realising it.
I just have to add that we have now secured tickets to the Boss. Yeeesss!! They sold out very quickly so we were lucky. We tried to get our tickets in the pre-sale but by the time we tried, there were obviously only a limited number of the tickets we wanted in the pre-sale and we missed out. As you can image, Rick was like a caged lion. He didn't rest until the tickets went on general sale and we had obtained ours.